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very very bad movies


Murkworks Movie Suckoff 2013: SHARKNADO!

Yes, O Internets, I’m a week late to the mighty supernova of wretchedness that is Sharknado–but this is what happens when my supervillain and I have scheduling conflicts! But tonight, OH MY YES, we will be making up for that in spades. The finest snarkers in the Greater Puget Sound Metropolitan Area will be gathering at the Murkworks tonight for a truly special event: the very first Murkworks Movie Suckoff which is not, repeat, NOT prefaced by my having surgery of any kind! You may imagine my deep satisfaction at this, because it means I get to get into the cider and Sortilege instead!

“But Anna,” I hear you cry, “what movie could possibly be worthy of going up against Sharknado in a Suckoff?! Will it even matter? Because for fuck’s sake, sharks in a tornado!”

DAMN GOOD QUESTION! Tonight we shall go either with Atomic Twister or Deep Blue Sea, depending on which we can find for rent! We’ll either have more sharky, snarky goodness, OR, we’ll have an atomic tornado! Either way, it promises to be spectacularly awful. And tonight, by 7pm Pacific time, I’ll be announcing in this very post who our lucky, lucky challenger is going to be. Moreover, I will be updating this post with commentary as it happens!

Stand by, my friends, et mes amis d’Internet, until the snark commences!

ETA 7:49pm: And OUR CHALLENGER, ladies and gentlemen: Deep Blue Sea! (Not to be confused with Great Big Sea!) All hands are on deck and we are about to be drinking drinks called Tornados. Which include dark rum, passion fruit rum, pineapple juice, and grenadine!

Look behind the fold for more!

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About Me, Movies

Dental surgery–and today’s Murkworks Movie Suckoff!

Went in to see my new dentist for gum graft surgery today, which is because I’ve got a few spots in my mouth where the gums have pulled back enough to expose the roots of my teeth. This has caused me all sorts of sensitivity issues, and my new dentist’s recommendation was that we do some simple gum graft surgery–not only to return protection to the affected teeth, but also to prevent the problem from worsening as I grow older.

I’ve had work done on one side of my mouth today, and some time next year, we’ll be doing the other side. Then the problem will be done and dealt with.

Fortunately the procedure was pretty simple. I had to show up an hour early for my 9am appointment, at which point they had me take a tablet of Triazolam, and hang out waiting for the succeeding hour. I noted with interest that about twenty minutes in, I started feeling slightly drunk. And between that and how they gave me nitrous during the actual procedure, I went almost right out. I had massive time compression, and pretty much remember only the doctor asking me to turn my head a couple of times–and then the nurse was taking the gas mask off of me and I was mumbling, “Whuh? Are we done?”

They gave me four, count ’em, four different prescriptions to go pick up after–some Vicodin, some prescription-strength Motrin, this mouth rinse I’m supposed to use in lieu of brushing my teeth for the next few days, and some amoxycillin as well. They told me to rest a lot today, with my head elevated, which I’ve been doing in between doing the latest Murkworks Movie Suckoff! And I figure I’m going to pretty much be zzzzzzz for the rest of the weekend. By Monday though I should be fine, and should be able to use the prescription-strength Motrin during the day if I need it, and hold the rest of the Vicodin for the evenings. I’m supposed to come back on the 15th to have stitches out, and that will be that until next year, when we do this again to the other side of my mouth.

As for the Movie Suckoff, I report to my chagrin that we were unable to find Deep Blue Sea on Paul’s Netflix account! So we swamped it out for Empire of the Ants, a 70’s Bert I. Gordon schlockfest, notably featuring Joan Collins. We did still get 2-Headed Shark Attack, though! I got really sleepy during the shark flick and had to come back and watch the rest of it later, but once that was done, Dara and I decided that Empire of the Ants definitely sucked more. It committed the crime of starting off being stultifyingly boring, mostly! At least in 2-Headed Shark Attack, you got to see things blow up.

There may be a second Suckoff tomorrow depending on if I’m feeling up for it. More on this as it happens, Internets!


Bring out your crap, redux

It has been proposed to me by userinfostickmaker, O Internets, that a little Danish flick called Reptilicus is a potential candidate for a future Murkworks Movie Suckoff! Inspection of this flick’s IMDB entry shows promise.

But for a proper, truly well executed Movie Suckoff, my friends, we require another vital component: a Sci-Fi Pictures Original, ideally in theme with this movie, to compete!

So I put it to you: name me your titles! What’s a good Sci-Fi Pictures Original Crapfest we could put this movie up against?

About Me, Books

Quiet weekend

I hadn’t really said as much on this journal, but I was on an unofficial book-buying hiatus through most of January, trying to take the opportunity to get caught up on reading the books I actually already own (wacky concept, I know). This got thrown off track though yesterday, since I was feeling down about getting a rejection letter–so I decided on emergency bookstore and walking therapy, by way of coping.

Therefore, picked up in print and making my first two purchases of 2011, I present:

  • userinfocmpriest‘s Bloodshot (which I am likely to also get electronically, but which I have only in print for now). This is I think her first official urban fantasy. There are vampires, but then again, this is Cherie Priest, and she’s on the list of people who’ll make me buy a book even if there are vampires in it.
  • A used copy of Susanna Kearsley‘s Named of the Dragon–which I’d actually previously owned and hadn’t been impressed with the first time through. But I found myself wanting to re-read it and feeling sad that I’d gotten rid of my last copy!

What I was actually looking for were the first two books of Cassandra Chan’s mystery series, The Young Widow and Village Affairs. I cannot find them for love or money in any of the local bookstores on my usual routes–and I checked eight, including the downtown B&N, the downtown Borders, two of the three used bookstores at Pike Place Market (the third being currently inaccessible due to construction), the U-Bookstore, Half Price Books in the U-District, Twice Sold Tales in the U-District, and the Ravenna branch of Third Place Books. I shall therefore probably have to order them, and that’s fine, though I’d wanted to give the local stores a good fighting chance at selling me these titles first.

Also of note on this walk: my marketboys were doing crazytalk huge amounts of business when I swung by them for blackberries. The market in general was very, very crowded, possibly more so than usual just because the construction does weird things to the flow of people through the place. But still, wow! Way more people there on a Saturday afternoon than I’m used to seeing when I swing through there in the mornings and afternoons, to and from work.

There was a rally going on in Westlake Park downtown when I walked from Pike Place to Borders. I wasn’t terribly surprised to see it was a rally in support of the protestors in Egypt, and I was glad to see them raising their voices. Saw a couple of people on the corner of Fourth and Pike holding up an Egyptian flag, and scattered outlying knots of people on the fringes of the main rally as well as I swung over to B&N.

Yunnie Bubble Tea in the U-District still makes extremely tasty bubble tea. I miss them.

Half-Price Books in the U-District is still pretty awesome, even though they don’t have the amount of space at their disposal that Third Place does. Good place to go for book spelunking.

Gray, cool, and rainy but not too much so is a strangely appropriate type of weather to have if you’re moody and in the mood for exercise. I actually kind of liked the weather as I walked from the University District on up to the Ravenna branch of Third Place (which I’d never been in and which is much smaller than the main store), and from there up towards 80th. Also, north along 20th from Ravenna Third Place is a nice residental stretch of neighborhood, and gave me that odd little sense of satisfaction I sometimes get when I check out part of Seattle I’ve never seen before. ‘Cause, y’know, a Warder should walk her city and stuff.

By the time I made it home, close to five o’clock, I was feeling better mentally, albeit footsore. I estimate I did four miles and change while I was out, which is about what I do on a daily basis during the week–but during the week, it’s split up into morning and afternoon chunks.

And finishing off the day with a viewing of Megapython Vs. Gatoroid, this week’s Syfy channel crapfest, was pretty much exactly what I needed. Toss in some 4th season Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea and some Voyage fanfic, and I was in a much better frame of mind by the time I went to bed.

I’m a little sad about missing Conflikt this weekend, but on the whole I think I made the right decision. My reserves of Cope were pretty low, and I needed some quiet Me time for a while. userinfosolarbird‘s been having a great time at the con this weekend though and I look forward to her bringing me a copy of userinfoseanan_mcguire‘s shiny new album!

Today I have been working on query letters for Lament, and a bit of actual writing. And I’ve been playing with the shiny new barcode scanning functionality in the iPhone Goodreads app, scanning in a bunch more of the books I own that I never got around to adding to my shelves on that site. I’ve topped 1,500 titles on my Goodreads account and will be amused to see if I top 2,000 by the time I’m done with the scanning.