Things I have NOT yet observed in Quebecois music

As a followup to my previous post, I would also now like to present to you this list of things I have not yet observed in Quebecois music, but which I’d pay good money to hear. Or commission. I’m just SAYIN’. 😉

• Bouzouki players. Because who says the violin players get to have all the fun in these songs? Yes, I know, the Irish bouzouki is a modern instrument. But this only goes to prove my point that if we wish to have bouzouki players appearing in the lyrics of songs that’ll be sung in a couple more hundred years, clearly we must start writing them NOW. Hell, if I can pull an entire novel with a bouzouki player in a lead role out of my brain, surely somebody out there can whip up a song or two about a bouzouki player and his or her general awesomeness!
• Zombies. Because I have the following now stuck in my head:
  

  Dans la ville de Seattle
  Il y a une zombie fille
  Gris comme la poussière
  Traînante dans le sommeil
  Il y a trois capitaines
  Elle veut manger leurs cerveaux

  I blame this on the Charbonniers’ excellent “Dans la ville de Paris”, the first complete Quebecois song I have learned how to sing. (NOT the first French song–that honor belongs to “Trois Navires de Ble”!) Because I mean, damn, the girl’s trying to get her dad’s attention after three days of being stuck in a tomb? What ELSE is she about to do but eat his brains, I ask you?

  Also, I blame it on my general obsession with zombies, but as you know, Internets, I AM a giant nerd.

• On the general theme of ‘galant, tu perds ton temps’, I wish to see queer belles who, after blowing off the nearest capitaines who are trying ever so hard to get their attention, promptly snog each other.
• On the flip side of the previous, a couple of capitaines snogging each other wouldn’t go amiss, either!
• And speaking of Galant Tu Perds Ton Temps, While I am 99.99 percent certain that those girls are not actually singing about “Monsieur Pants” in the song “Les promesses du galant” (which actually queues up if you go and visit their website, if you want to hear what I’m talking about), I now totally want to hear a song all about Monsieur Pants. eeyorerin claimed to me that he must surely be a Quebecois folk hero, renowned for traveling the province and donating his pants to needy belles. Or perhaps at least ATTEMPTING to donate his pants to allegedly needy belles who then proceed to laugh themselves silly about his outrageous pants, which seems rather more in keeping with the entire actual genre. That this is not a song that exists makes me sad, Internets!
• I have yet to see a song about a barista refusing the advances of overcaffeinated computer geeks. But then, that may be a song that’ll work way better in Seattle.
• Another song that’ll work way better if set in Seattle: a ditty about my marketboys. But then, I probably better still write that one, when I build up enough French! It’ll work something like:
  

  What will you sell me, boys of the market?
  What will you sell me, handsome boys?
  (Fill in a name here) sells me oranges

  (…. and you keep adding in a new line for a new boy every verse!)

  (New name) sells me bananas
  (New name) sells me apples
  And (new name) sells me the berries, the red red berries, the red red berries of May

Yeah. 🙂